Last week I worked from home one day, and by 9am was ready to kill me some animals.
So I really love working from home every once in a while, and really appreciate that I have a boss who is cool with me doing so. It’s nice and quiet, no office politics, change of scenery, I can open the windows and get a little breeze blowing through the house. So pleasant.
But this day.
First, the cat runs over and starts to eat the dog food, which makes Spike flip. As I go into the kitchen to shoo him away, and the dog runs into the bathroom and eats the cat’s food, which makes him throw up. And, more recently, the dog also eats the kitty litter, which makes me want to throw up.
Close both of those doors, nobody’s eating anything anymore. The dog chases the cat. The cat chases the dog. I decide to lock the cat in the bathroom. Within 3 minutes he somehow tears all of the towels off the racks, slides the rug across the room, sprays kitty litter EVERYWHERE, and breaks a shelf in the bathroom closet knocking everything on the shelf onto the floor. Abandon that plan. Now we’re all confined to the main section of the house.
The cat sits in my lap and the dog stands next to me barking. I kick the cat off my lap. The dog the crawls in my lap and the cat starts batting him on the head. I kick the dog off my lap. The dog sits on the ground looking at me forlornly, like “how can you let this happen to our peaceful home?” while cat walks back and forth across the keyboard sending emails that say $*%&^FJSDKJ#(ECJSLDKUWE to random work clients.
I prepare to relocate to the coffee shop down the street.
But then, very suddenly, they both crash and fall asleep, curled up on either side of me on the couch.
…and then the house was quiet, and so peaceful, with just the steady hum of the cat purring.
And you can’t help but be like, AWWWWW THEYRE SO CUTE HOW COULD I BE MAD AT THEM EVERRRRRR.
So no animal abandonment. Yet.