Green Tomatoes

~ meh ~ Leave a comment

Or: Reasons Why It Doesn’t Completely Suck to Go Back To Work:IMG_20131022_093613
Green tomatoes from my coworker (because before I left for maternity leave I was talking about how I wanted to make fried green tomatoes.)   Nice.

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I used to hate this door.  I made fun of it regularly and often talked about putting a picture of Spike on there.  I didn’t understand why I had to be assaulted by everyone’s grandbaby pictures every time I went into the kitchen.

But then I came back from being gone and someone in the office had printed a monster sized picture of my baby’s head and stuck it in the middle of the door.  Hammerhead dominates the kitchen door. Anybody going into the kitchen is totally assaulted by her 10-minute-old face.  Now I hate it less.  I actually kind of love it.

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Oh hey there XXX cubetree, nice to see you again.

And finally, I had never realized how enjoyable it can be listening to music and filing 2 months worth of emails uninterrupted.  I really appreciated that on Monday.  It’s since lost a little bit of its shine, but still.  Uninterrupted time is nice.

…and with that, week #1 DONE.  Happy weekend!

Lactation Station

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Breastfeeding is kind of weird.   Pumping is weirder.  Pumping in the office because you went back to work before the baby is eating regular food is weirdest.

But thanks to some pushing from my boss, my employer is providing me with a room where I can pump (or, as our (male) HR manager refers to it, a “lactation station”.  Said in all seriousness.)

Our office is in a big building.  My firm is on the 4th floor.  The room is on the 7th.  So yesterday I was handed a key, taken up to the empty 7th floor, and led to a nondescript door.

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We opened the door.

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This is not just a room(/station).  It’s an entire office suite.  A completely empty office suite.  With lots of empty rooms.

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Random, abandoned furniture and books (including Dallas Cowboys: The Authorized Pictorial History).  Holes in the ceiling.  Holes in the wall.  Plaster peeling off the walls, littering the ground.

It is very empty and potentially really creepy.  Especially the sink.

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And not because it looks like you might get tetanus from touching the sink, but because there is a huge hole in the ceiling right above where you stand to wash your hands.  And yesterday, as I was rinsing out the equipment, I heard this scratching/thumping noise coming from inside the ceiling.  Right above my head.

I couldn’t tell if it was something happening on another floor, or a huge rat (or person) about to launch an aerial attack through the car-sized hole.  (I don’t know why it is that every time I hear an unidentified noise anywhere I assume it’s something coming to attack me. But I do.  Especially when I’m in a locked room on an abandoned floor far from anybody who might hear my screams.)

Nothing happened.  This time.  I brought my mace today.

HOWEVER!  In the room that I actually pump in, there is a really nice view aaand…

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…a couch.  And after getting a feel of what my sleep patterns might be over the next few months….heeeeelllooooo lactation station.

Held Hostage

~ meh ~ 2 Comments

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I cannot believe I used to stress on the nights that I got less than 7 hours of sleep.  So stupid.

A play-by-play of last night:

  • 10pm: successful final feeding of the day,  we turn the lights down, white noise machine on, rock her to sleep, everything is so peaceful and calm…
  • 10:30pm: put her in bassinet.  she is OUT.
  • 11:30pm: fussing starts.  i get up,  stick the pacifier that she has spit out back in her mouth, put the hat that she has wiggled her way out of back on her head, calm her down, then very, very carefully lay back down and pray to god that she is really asleep.  this cycle goes on for 90 minutes.
  • 1am:  real crying starts.  get up, diaper change, go out to living room and feed her.
  • 2:30am:  try to put her down.  crying starts the second she touches the bassinet.  we’re so tired that paul gives up and puts her on his chest. she IMMEDIATELY falls asleep. we lay there half asleep for about an hour.
  • 3:30am:  veeeery carefully pick her up off paul’s chest and put her back in the bassinet.  immediate fussing.  plug with pacifier.  hat fix.  repeat.
  • 4am: crying.  again.  pick her up, realize her back is all wet.  not sure if it’s sweat or pee.  go to change her and find her diaper like down by her knees (probably because she’s been squirming like a maniac in the bassinet).  so I yell at paul.  obviously.
  • 4:15am: apologize to paul.  head back out to the living room to feed her again.  she eats a full meal plus all of the supplemental pumped milk we have in the fridge.
  • 4:45am: paul rocks the (super full) baby, I pump to replenish supply in fridge.
  • 5:45am: marsha arrives to save the day!  (this is not part of our normal schedule. just last night.)  she takes the baby. paul and i head to to sleep.
  • 7am: Alarm goes off.  Time for work!

I don’t know if this is sustainable.

Oh God here we go…

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The fuzzy socks are out and in full effect.  So are the guerrilla warfare tactics in the neverending thermostat battle.

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Leaves are falling, colors are changing, runs are getting cold.

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Babies are getting “big” (it’s all relative).

IMG_20131020_183909post-run greeting party

…and tomorrow I go back to work.  Ugh.

Hammerhead

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Cocos-Island-Costa-Rica-Hammerhead-Shark-Overhead-Shark-Weekphoto via

Before I went into labor I told a friend of mine that if I had the baby during Shark Week we would name her after a shark.  Obviously.  

Well, guess what.  Muffinbutt squeaked into Shark Week by 9 minutes.

Unfortunately, Paul wasn’t cool with the name we’d chosen.  And since naming a baby is a team sport, Goblin didn’t make it onto the Social Security card.

But then we came home and realized that every time she gets frustrated and hungry, she bangs her head against my chest (or Paul’s chest, whoever happens to be holding her).  Like a hammer.  With her head.

It’s destiny.

Happy weekend

~ meh ~ 3 Comments

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Guess who was 2 months old yesterday.

It has been one of those weeks.  Baby (and I) have regularly required 3 daily wardrobe changes due to her pooing up her back (I think it may be time to move out of newborn diapers).  Paul worked the weekend shift, then had to travel for residency interviews, and then worked the night shift.  I dropped my phone in the toilet.  This morning after I got up to feed at 4am, Paul was trying to be nice and took the baby and tucked me in with Spike to let me get a little more sleep, and 10 minutes later the dog threw up in the bed.  Etc, etc.

BUT!   As I sit here pumping away I can’t help but revel in the moment, because…

today my sister is coming to visit and meet the baby for the first time.

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And Paul doesn’t have to work at all this weekend.  And the weather is ab-so-lutely glorious. And we’re going to a BBQ and then the KY-Alabama football game and then tomorrow the races.  Soooooo…the past week, compared to this, is nothing.

Enjoy your weekend!

Week 2

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IMG_20131003_134335I took this picture on our front stoop as I headed out on my run on Friday.  Should I be surprised that I got caught in a torrential downpour?  (I actually really like running in the rain, except it does a number on your shoes and any electronics you might be carrying…which is why I almost always run with a dog poop bag for my phone.  Also comes in handy for other types of emergencies.)

SO!  Week 2 of exercise is in the books.  Unfortunately, after my last run (“run”), which was 5 miles, I started to have a little bit of that old shin pain that has plagued me for years.  God…

And so, last night I decided it was time for a change, I was going to take advantage of this clean slate and be responsible about these injuries and stop them before they start.

First: Even though it’s not a crazy distance, a friend of mine made a good point that jumping from 3 to 5 miles in 2 weeks is a significant increase in mileage (percentage-wise).  I think she’s right.  So I am waiting a few days until I feel no pain at all before running again, and when I do start up we’re going back to shorter distances.  Build slower.

Second: I realized that my shoes, even though I didn’t run much the past 6 months, have quite a few miles on them.  Time for a new pair.  Ordered them on Zappos (but the older model…so much cheaper).

With those two decisions made i was feeling pretty productive.  So my new super-proactive self decided the next step would be to establish a cross training/strengthening routine to prevent further injury.  I have some exercises I’ve done in the past, but it was time for something new.

So I Googled “shin pain from running”, compiled info from different sites (mostly from Dr Jordan Metzl’s videos from Runners World), and put together a routine of butt/hip/core strengthening exercises.

With my list written out, I changed into my living room exercise outfit (booty shorts that no longer fit, a tank top with coffee stains that I can’t wear in public, and my slippers) and proceeded to do a modified (it was, after all, my first day) version of the exercises, including plyometric (that soon turned into non-plyometric) squats and lunges.  I did about 1/3 of the squats suggested with less reps and more rest.

ANDDD!  …today I can’t walk.  My legs kept randomly giving out on me as I made the bed this morning.  I didn’t eat lunch until 4 because the baby was in “I’m going to scream if you put me down” mode and was worried that I would fall over with her in my arms squatting to get something out of the fridge.  And forget sitting down.  Paul heard me fall onto the toilet in the other room and thought something horrible had happened.

So, yeah.

Schmucktober

~ meh ~ 1 Comment

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Just kidding!  I love October!  It’s fall!  Who doesn’t love fall?  It means football.  Pumpkin beer.  Nice weather. Keeneland!  What isn’t to like.  Except this year it does mean…

20 days until I go back to work.  20 days until I don’t spend every second with this thing.

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Here’s to hoping we can nail down a sleep schedule in the next 20 days.  Ha.

Also, in case you missed it, a new world record was set at the Berlin Marathon this weekend.  2:03:23, breaking the old record by 15 seconds.  (If you’re wondering, that’s averaging 4:42/mile.  What.  The.  Eff.)

The Science of Sport was tweeting a real time analysis of the race.  Seriously amazing.

Speaking of schmucks, ignore the dude promoting a prostitution website who jumped in front of Kipsang at the marathon, broke the tape, and ruined the finish line pic.

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Like, really.